Welcome all, this will be my first blog attempt
and I want to set the table on whats to come.
First I’d like to thank yall for listening and enjoying the Kings show
and website and I hope that we are touching you in a positive light. I would
like to start off with something that has been tearing me apart inside lately.
It was a question that was asked of me several years ago that I never quite
understood. The question was “ What do you bring to the table ?” Now I always
thought the correct answer was that “Im a good man I have a career and my own
car and house”. I always considered the answer to be the things that Im
supposed to be doing as opposed to the correct answer ( Boy was I wrong ) that
I will be hitting on . I’ve realized after several relationships gone bad by whatever reason and just growing up
what the answer to that question is .Now as I’ve grown I kinda have an Idea
about what I bring to the table and ultimately that would mean what Im looking
for and that translates to what I won’t accept . let’s go deeper.
How I came to this realization was I recently went back and enjoyed the
company of an ex after I went through a breakup and as I talked and conversed I
realized the problem was still there.
For one I knew that I would always have love for this person and that I
was not in love with this person.
Secondly I thought to myself of myself even though I was single again, I
was doing myself no favor by seeking company and not being to myself. So I went
into “ Dough mode”. I’ve found resolve in being single and comfort in just
being to myself. I have no worries, no drama , don’t gotta rack my brain on
being cheated on, I can eat what I want and where I want , there is no nagging
, no arguing, nobody asking what Im doing with my money, I can go where I want
without question, There is no complaining, no worrying when she will pay for
dinner , no baby momma or baby daddy drama, no crazy exes, no meeting “the men
friend” who used to be hittin that. No awkward silence, no disrespect, no lies,
no games , no stress . It’s just love
and peace. My life is peaceful and I love me. And as I thought about these
things I realized that these are not just the things I don’t have to deal with,
but these are also the things that I bring to the table. And since I bring this
to the table why should I have to entertain someone who would take away from
that. I mean as I choose the next mate or get chose I imagine that she will
need to compliment this not subtract from it. In plain English she needs to
have her shit together. Now Im not saying Im perfect or am I saying that my
story is completely figured out,but I don’t come with those typical issues so
she won’t have to deal with these
issues My question is “ Why should I “. Why should I have to deal with
less than what Im offering. Now I don’t mean financially, I don’t mean sexually
, but Im talking peace wise. At this age we all should have had our fair amount
of numbers when dealing in swap, so at this point its about substance. I really
wouldn’t deal with a girl just cause Im sexually attracted to her. Im single
with no kids so time is not something I look forward to wasting. I mean it will
take a lot for me to want to take a chance at risking my peace just for a
sexual conquest. Im a valuable commodity
outchea
One of the Kings asked me several years back a question that I truly
understand now. He said “ what is the most valuable thing a woman can give a
man “ . Now young me said “her sexuality” that to me was a true sign of a
womans value how often she kept it to herself to translated to a superb value
similar to a stock but I digress. The brother told me the answer to the question was “ peace”. Peace was the
greatest thing that a woman could give a man. I never understood because I never
had that that peace and ultimately it is a cornerstone of happiness. So again I
cannot stress enough that my life is not perfect but I am happy and I won’t
apologize for it. You would be surprised at the type of games people play out
here or you may be out here participating, but when do you ask yourself if
youre happy. How long until it is no longer about racking up numbers and you
start to value what you bring to the table. Look at atheletes, actors, hell
even people who get out the hood we always ask why do these people leave and
not take the person they been with along. I mean as I see it why should they ?
Why would you carry someone who would compromise your peace and your
accomplishments . I cannot believe the time I wasted on not realizing this. The
relationships I should not have been in and avoided as well as the
relationships I ruined by bringing my baggage into them. Now in closing. I am not telling anyone how
to live their life or what is best. But if you’re like me and in your 30’s and
single then maybe you need to take a step back from the game and try something
different. Hanging on to dead end relationships for sexual or financial
benefits may be why you’re being setback and missing out. I don’t care what
anybody says no one likes being single and I do believe everyone wants a
relationship, but just not any relationship. But keep in mind the baggage
you’re holding onto may be used against you in the court of love. Get right or
get left but you will get it.
Best
Wishes,
DoughBama 4 the people